LIFE – Let It Flow Easy!!
The only way through which we can experience ourselves is in relation to the other. All our emotions, feelings take expression in how we really are with the other. If not for that we wouldn’t really know our deepest, truest self.
So then to me all of life is this fundamental question – How am I experiencing myself? Am I being love? Am I being compassionate? Am I being anger? Am I being fearful? Am I experiencing myself in the present or past or future? It is these very experiences of my own self that create my life experience.
Feelings / emotions of love, fear, anger, frustration, joy, happiness, sadness are nothing but everything that I choose to experience and see in myself when I interact with others. In reality it is not others who push my buttons or make me feel lovable or like-able. In reality I decide and choose that for myself.
This way of thinking is quite radical and contrary to how we have been conditioned to think. For when we let others decide how we want to feel about ourselves, we give our powers to them. So when a partner doesn’t make us feel loved, or when a colleague or our boss doesn’t make us feel valued, or our children choose not to listen to us, and we feel unloved, devalued, in essence we are playing victims and not being masters of our life. Just as fleeting our emotions are of happiness or sadness, joy or fear, others perception of us is yet only their emotion of how they are feeling. How they perceive is only an opinion and not a fact. This is exactly how we feel about others too. One moment there is love for someone, in the next depending on their action, there could be anger. It just keeps changing.
Something that keeps changing, cannot be the real truth. Therefore, in the process of labelling our own and other people’s emotions as personality, we forget that what we have labelled is only our opinion and not a fact. We also don’t realize that once we have framed that opinion, its extremely hard for us to change it. All we then do is focus on things that further only enhances our justification to ourselves. Which to me as I go deeper into my own mind, is nothing but rigidity of thoughts as changing our view would end up holding us wrong / unjustified in our own eyes. And this is exactly how others equally become rigid in their opinion of others.
The biggest myth that prevents us from experiencing ourselves – is that someone else would make us complete or happy. It is not for the other to make us feel good, happy, valued, cared for, cherished or loved. Placing it in someone else hand is playing the role of a victim. It makes us powerless. This is the very game that Ego likes to play. What happens to us effectively is that unconsciously we all end up playing the victim game. And this game is what our Ego thrives on. It is this game that people play in relationships most of the time. But when we reclaim the power within ourselves and love ourselves for who we are, and have a sense of total acceptance of who we are at any given point in time, we are able to experience the holistic version of ourselves. And that’s the part of us that we share with everyone around. This means being honest and authentic to ourselves and then to the other. When this happens, the dynamics of our relationships shift. When we start playing this game of relationships consciously, choosing what we want to experience within ourselves, we become Masters of our life.
As we enter into a new day, a new year, a new possibility, look at relationships with a different lens…for it is only through our interaction with the other, that we evolve.