It was the usual meditation session with my meditation buddy, as we took up another chapter of the Tao Te Ching, absorbing and then meditating upon the wisdom imparted by Lao Tzu 2,500 years ago.
I first came across the Tao almost a decade ago. We were studying Chapter 18 of the Bhagavad Gita with my teacher when I asked him what I should read next to continue my “Svadhyaya” — loosely translated as self-study or the study of the Self.
As always, he smiled — the kind of smile that carried far more than words. Without waiting for me to speak further, he said,
“ As you embark on your journey with the Tao, you will find many similarities with the Gita. Just to give you a glimpse — the Gita has 18 chapters and the Tao has 81 verses. Do you see? Both are rooted in the number 9, the highest potential one can reach. These texts promise us that.”
It never fails to amaze me that whenever we turn to the teachings of the Masters to expand our awareness, the wisdom that was relevant thousands of years ago is still relevant today. Despite multiple readings, these texts never read the same — their meaning shifts as we shift.
Sometimes I wonder: is the human species as slow as a snail in its own evolution, that the emotions and struggles from thousands of years ago remain unchanged? Anger, lust, greed, frustration, power struggles, disillusionment, sadness, fanaticism, and most of all, ignorance — they persist. Or perhaps these teachings hold eternal truths, so their relevance never fades, no matter how much we evolve.
If we could see these texts as life manuals — guides to gratitude, authenticity, integrity, and balance — our lives could be more joyful, peaceful, and purposeful. All that’s required is a bit of faith, a clear intention, and consistent practice.
As we continued to read Verse 52 of Stephen Mitchell’s Tao Te Ching, our discussion drifted towards whether there is a difference between expectations and desires. I had briefly touched upon the very thing of desire with my teacher but this time around my reading of the verse was evolved – or rather different and so was the discussion with my meditation buddy.
The verse reads:
In the beginning was the Tao.
All things issue from it; all things return to it.
To find the origin, trace back to the manifestations.
When you recognize the children, and find the mother,
you will be free of sorrow.
If you close your mind in judgments and traffic with desires,
your heart will be troubled.
If you keep your mind from judging and aren’t led by the senses,
your heart will find peace.
Seeing into darkness is clarity.
Knowing how to yield is strength.
Use your own light and return to the source of light.
This is called practicing eternity.
The words reminded me of my second class in Meditation Made Simple with my teacher. After we acknowledged the presence in one another, he asked, “Do you know what is the biggest epidemic in the world?”
The room went silent. Then he wrote on the board: CHRONIC DISCONTENTMENT.
We smiled, thinking we knew who suffered from it — surely others, not us. Then he added:
“Because our expectations are not met.”
And in that moment, the truth landed. We were all carrying this epidemic. Every single day — at work, in relationships, when the food we ordered didn’t match our palate, when someone cut us off in traffic, when someone didn’t smile back, when our efforts were not acknowledged, the feeling of being taken for granted. The list was endless…………
Expectation vs. Desire
So what is an expectation? The dictionary traces it to the Latin expectatio, meaning “awaiting with confident anticipation.” An awaiting is always about the future — and the future, by definition, pulls us away from the present. When what we’ve anticipated doesn’t happen, frustration follows. Expectations are external anchors.
Desire has a different root: de-sidere — “from the stars.” In Vedic thought, our deep driving desire shapes our Dharma, our soul’s purpose. The four pillars of “purusharthas” or the goals of human life providing a framework of balanced fulfilled life according to the ancient Hindu philosophy are— Dharma ( duty and righteousness) , Artha (meaning / purpose), Kama ( pleasure / enjoyment) , Moksha (peace / freedom/ liberation) — echo the same truth as the Tao and the Gita: follow your soul purpose and you’ll find meaning, enjoyment, and ultimately peace and liberation.
The problem isn’t the desire or the expectation itself — it’s the condition we attach to it: “Only if this happens will I be happy.” The point of control, as my teacher reminded us, is never the outcome. It is only our thoughts and actions.
The Real Root of Chronic Discontentment
At its core, Chronic Discontentment is born from our attempt to control outcomes. We cling to certainty because uncertainty feels unsafe. But when our inner state depends on controlling the external, peace will always be fragile.
Both the Tao and the Gita teach that strength lies in releasing that control — acting fully, but surrendering the result.
So what is it then we can do to heal us from this disease? Nothing Big – just baby steps, small bites that we can digest and enjoy!
- Understanding Preference over Expectation
Prefer things, but don’t demand them. A preference says, “I’d enjoy this.” An expectation says, “I need this or I’ll suffer.” - Daily Expectation Audit
Each evening, ask: “What expectation went unmet today? Did it truly matter? Could I have experienced the same moment without that condition?” - Desire as Dharma
Pursue only those desires that align with your values and soul purpose. Let go of the rest without regret.
At the end what we need to remember is that the cure for Chronic Discontentment is not in perfecting the future but in mastering the present.