LIFE – Let it flow easy!
continued….From Fear to being Fear-less!
Being fearless doesn’t mean that fear will completely vanish from our lives. And this is primarily because we live in the world of duality and fear as an instinct is perhaps an essential tool built within us for our physical survival. Becoming fear-less just means that we become less fearful by walking towards our fears and facing them.
However, the journey from fear to fearless involves taking the first step – i.e., having the ability to ACKNOWLEDGE and ACCEPT our fears for what they are, devoid of any judgement of being right or wrong, good or bad, and so on and forth. Our natural response to our internal fears is to have them brush under the carpet, bury them deep within so that we don’t have to deal with them. That’s how fears also grow into phobias, into anxiety attacks.
I can vouch for this from personal experience – as a child and even as a teenager for the longest period I was fearful of thunders and lightnings. I don’t remember when and how I developed fear for that, perhaps the loud noise which startled me, or the information that a lightning strike could be fatal. However, that one day of our summer holiday, changed my response to this natural phenomenon which is absolutely breath-taking. I experienced what Wayne Dyer very often used to say “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
That day, as me and my dad were taking a walk into the hills, with the storm approaching, I could see that soon I’ll be in the room with my eyes and ears closed and a sheet pulled over my head. But that day instead of giving into my normal reaction, I was forced to sit with my ears and eyes open, face all that was happening within me and then choose what I wanted to do with all the information that I had. As I sat through, paying attention to every single thunder and lightning, watching the sky, I noticed something shifting within. The fearful look transformed into a sense of freedom with a smile on my face – it was a deep sense of liberation. I felt freer and more relaxed, more into the nature, more one with myself.
Its obvious to me that we will never be void of fear for its necessary for our survival on this earthly plane. However, we have the choice to be less fearful of what the future holds for us. It’s a choice that exists every moment. “There are absolutely no choiceless moments” – my teacher always used to tell me.
We always have the choice to swim upstream or go with the flow. Upstream is tiring, exhausting and a struggle. Going with the flow means letting go and having the ability to let the flow guide you to your destination. Going upstream is like the man’s life with the situation of Sisyphus a figure of Greek mythology who was condemned to repeat forever the same meaningless task of pushing a boulder up a mountain, only to see it roll down again. This is exactly what our fears make us do and limit our experience of life.
So, ACKNOWLEDGE and ACCEPT your fears first. Understand what that fear means to you. Notice and understand what those fears do to you – as in the mental, emotional and physical reactions. The initial tendency would be to reject them, distract our minds away from them, or as usual judge ourselves as being stupid for having those thoughts and brushing them under the carpet. As they say, it’s not easy to face your own demons. However, this is the most critical phase to cross – be gentle, compassionate and most importantly be patient towards yourself. It is absolutely OK to feel all the emotions (remember its only energy in motion). Stay connected with those emotions.
Once there is complete acceptance of what those fears mean to you, observe the OPTIONS available to you. Often the tendency here is to analyze all the options – which if you think deeper would also be governed yet by another underlying fear. The key here is not to get trapped into the maze of analysis…over analysis leads to paralysis. That day in the hotel room, I had the option to either sit and look straight into the sky or cover my eyes and ears with a sheet and continue to live with that fear till I would have decided to eventually face it or finally bury it with my burial.
The third and the final step is to take ACTION to overcome the fear. ACTION the option you have chosen. I chose to sit on the sofa instead and look straight into the sky and pay attention to every single thunder and lightning and experience that sense of liberation and be in awe with nature. Every action will have an outcome. If the outcome is to your liking, to what you expected, then continue to repeat them. If not, go back to step no 2 which is analyze the options that are available and then take another action.
As my teacher would tell me – ACCEPTANCE, OPTIONS and ACTIONS are the basic principles applicable to any life situation. Do these to see how life blossoms. Experience them yourself.