LIFE – Let It Flow Easy!!
“You can’t change your past, but you can change the way you took at it.”
My teacher once told me a story of this man who had one story to tell always. He had an ugly scar on his arm from a nearly fatal car accident. And every time someone would ask him about the scar, he re-lived the horror of the accident , he would remember how the accident was not his fault, how he had to be in the hospital for a long time recovering from his injuries, how his career suffered, how his family had to go through the hardships, how for the longest period he couldn’t muster the courage to go behind the wheels, how every morning the scar reminded him of all of these painful memories and all those years he had continued to live with this. In a way, he had a love and hate relationship with this scar which was right in his face every time he looked at his arm.
This was so much more than a story. Change the plot, change the scene, this is very much our story too. We all have scars – injury through words or actions that other people may have caused us – family, friends, colleagues, relationship betrayals, people lying to us, or not supporting us when we needed them the most, etc etc. And we share the same love-hate relationship with our scars. We don’t like them, will do anything to change it, if we could. Yet we don’t even refrain ourselves either thinking about them or talking about it to other people. Every time we think about it or talk about, we go through the same emotional turmoil or discomfort. We feel like victims either of other people’s actions or circumstances or blame it on our so called destiny. The victim song is the on the replay mode – part of the favourite playlist.
The typical human mind, oscillates between the past and the worry / fear of the future. Rarely do we live in the present reminding ourselves of all things that we have in our lives at that moment – including the most important that is being alive. The moment we re-live those unhappy experiences, our internal chemistry changes as that produces stress hormones within our brain. The consequences we all know – everything starts manifesting as an emotional and physical discomfort – headaches, stomach aches, anxiety attacks etc.
My teacher often says “Past is dead, except in your head”. He also used to say when we drive we don’t look into the rear view mirror. We occasionally look into it and instantly move back to the windscreen. And that’s exactly how life has to be lived. Look front and keep going in the direction of your destination.
Carlos Castaneda said, “One day I found out that personal history was no longer necessary for me and, like drinking, I dropped it… Little by little you must create a fog around yourself; you must erase everything around you until nothing can be taken for granted, until nothing is any longer for sure, or real. Your problem now is that you’re too real. Your endeavors are too real, your moods are too real. Don’t take things so for granted. You must begin to erase yourself.”
At ‘some point in time’, we really need to drop our past and the painful memories. We have to look at the growth that it brought with the knowing that every adversity is an opportunity. Life will have both happy and sad moments and acceptance of life means that we embrace both. Let that ‘some point in time’ be NOW. Let go of your personal history to live, laugh with more freedom and joy. Let go of what ever is holding you back, let go of the FEAR.